For the past eight years, Jack Lechner, a former Miramax executive now in charge of entertainment development at @radical.media in New York, and his wife Sam Maser, have sent out a greeting card to their friends featuring parodies of many of the films nominated for Academy Awards set to music.

Below are some of this year's choice selections:

Mystic River (to the tune of "Mr Sandman")

Mystic River
Dark as can be
The feel-bad movie of Two-Thousand-Three
It proves a man'll do the things a beast would
If he's in a picture by Clint Eastwood
Mystic River
Maybe I'm dense
But did that ending even remotely make sense?
Though the critics don't agree
Mystic River mystified me!

Master & Commander: The Far Side of the World (to the tune of "All of Me")

Sodomy
Where is the sodomy
That a sea-
Faring voyage was known for?
If a tar
Went below decks then
Chances are
He would have sex then
Peter Weir
Checked all his facts, it's clear
And they're here
In meticulous detail
But in the dash
From rum to the lash
Where is the sodomy?

The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (excerpt, to the tune of "My Favorite Things")

...
Give my regards to the riders of Rohan
(Though it's unlikely they know George M. Cohan)
Pelennor Fields -- that's where Aragom sings --
So many endings in Lord Of The Rings

Now it's finished
We're diminished
It was great, but long
I hope Peter Jackson will rest for a while
Before he remakes
King Kong!


And, lest you think Miramax escaped unscathed, Cold Mountain (excerpt, to the tune of "Old Smokey"):

On top of Cold Mountain
All covered with mist
I wait for my lover
A man I once kissed
...
And if he should perish
That would be a shame
Because then I'll never
Find out his first name!


If you enjoyed these, tune in to the telecast of the IFP Independent Spirit Awards, February 28 on IFC and Bravo, when Lechner and Maser will skewer the indies in five featured ditties.

Also check out Movie City News's Miramax Songbook 2004.

# posted by Steve Gallagher @ 2/18/2004 01:42:00 PM

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